


Where We Take This Road

by deliciousshame



Series: Unofficial AoKuro Week 2018 [3]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, AoKuro Week, AoKuro Week 2018, Heteronormativity, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 11:15:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14693067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deliciousshame/pseuds/deliciousshame
Summary: Tetsuya's future had always been very clear to him: find a good job that could support his wife and their family. It had seemed like a relatively easy goal to achieve.Now, not so much.





	Where We Take This Road

Tetsuya still routinely catches his mother staring at older sisters dragging their unwilling younger brother behind them, or siblings struggling through their first errands together.

He knows his mother loves him, but he’s not all she needed. She never said a thing, but Tetsuya can tell she wishes she had daughters to teach how to cook, sons to succeed her husband. She wanted a lively household full of children.

Instead she got Tetsuya.

She catches him looking. “I’m just looking forward to getting grandchildren.”

Tetsuya smiles at her. “I’m still a bit young, but I’ll do my best.”

He means it.

_____________

He’s a bit disappointed in himself when he graduates from high school with no romantic experience. He’s not exactly surprised, but it still grates. Between basketball and the increased scholarly efforts needed to get into a good college, the only female from his school he has formed a significant relationship with is the coach, and that’s not going anywhere. He likes the coach a lot, but she is far from the kind of lady he images he’ll marry someday. The coach isn’t the kind of woman who’ll stay home to take care of his children, or who’ll visit his mother, both of them laughing at their offspring’s antics.

Tetsuya supposes his wife will be kind and understanding. She’ll have food ready for him even when he comes back late at night. She’ll keep the house clean and the children safe while he works to give them all a good life.

Hence the studying. He has to get a good job if he wants to support his family. The first step to that is a decent university.

That’s what he tells himself when he crosses the gates. It’s the first step. It might seem daunting, but he’ll manage.

_____________

Tetsuya thought this would be easier. His colleagues sure seem to find partners with more ease than he. It’s a few months into the school year, and while he has made quite a few female friends, he hasn’t met one he could see himself with. Oh, he has encountered many fine ladies, but none he wanted to move further with, never mind starting a family with.

Still, he keeps trying. Some days, this means going out with friends in the hope of meeting a suitable woman he hasn’t had the chance to talk to yet.

In all honesty, this particular outing isn’t going well. Maybe it’s because it’s at an izakaya. Women who drink aren’t his type. They’re loud. Tetsuya rather misses the book he left at home. It would be more interesting than this bunch. His attention keeps wandering away.

He amuses himself by looking at the other patrons. The woman over there looks bored with her date too. Tetsuya sympathises. On the other side of the room, what seem to be coworkers are sharing an evening drink after their shift. Good for them. Over there, two men are having… Is that Aomine-kun? Tetsuya doesn’t recognise the person he’s with. How strange to see Aomine-kun with new people. He’s not very social. Maybe a new teammate of his? Tetsuya hopes so. It would be nice if he could get along with his college team better than with his high school one.

Oh well. He’s not going to bother them. He’ll just ask him who it was another day.

_____________

“Oh, that guy? Just some dude I hook up with when I feel like it. Don’t worry about him. You won’t see him around or anything.”

Tetsuya shrugs. What a weird misunderstanding. “I’m sorry. I misheard you. Could you repeat?”

It’s Aomine-kun turn to shrug. “Sure. He’s just some guy I sleep with sometimes. It’s not like he hangs around much, so you’ll probably never see him again.”

Tetsuya freezes. He can’t have misheard twice. “Your beloved Mai-chan will be sad to learn you don’t enjoy the company of women anymore.” To say this is unexpected would be the understatement of the century. Out of everyone he knows, Aomine-kun is by far the most surprising choice for… what he is.

Aomine-kun rolls his eyes at him. “You’re not that fucking dumb. I’m not gay. I like both. It’s a thing.”

“But why?”

“Why what?”

“Why would you… date another man.” What is even the point? It’s not like he can marry him, or have children, or any type of social standing.

Aomine-kun snorts. “I never said anything about dating.”

That’s… another subject foreign to Tetsuya. “I see.”

He’s getting strange looks. Why he is the one getting strange looks? “What is it to you? Who I fuck doesn’t change a thing in your life.”

He can’t help but cringe. Must Aomine-kun be so crude? “I just worry about you. That’s not a way to live your life.”

“Who are you, my mother? Why do you care? I don’t give a fuck who you date, or more like don’t date in your case. You’ve never dated, right? I don’t give you shit about it. Don’t give me shit about my sex life.”

“It’s not the same. I just have to find the right woman.” He’s been serious about it too. It just hasn’t worked out. It’s not like Aomine-kun, who’s been… fooling around with people he had better leave alone.

Aomine-kun looks as started as Tetsuya was. Still is. “Wait, what? Are you serious?”

Tetsuya frowns. Why wouldn’t he be? “Yes. Don’t you want to be a proper member of society some day? Have a normal family to call your own?”

“If that’s what you want, why didn’t you date Satsuki? I mean, I would never, but I’m not blind. You can’t do better than her looks-wise, and she’s crazy about you. She’s smart, she’s nice, she’d give you that family you want in a heartbeat.”

He’s not wrong, but… “I’ve never thought of Momoi-san like that.”

“Why not?”

“…I don’t know.” She would be a great choice. Well, everyone knows her cooking is life-threatening, but surely she could work at it. She could get lessons. Maybe his mother could teach her. She would like that, his mother, to teach her daughter-to-be.

Aomine-kun sighs. “I just… I always figured you were, you know, uninterested in general. You were always oblivious to people hitting on you, no matter what gender they were, so this is confusing the hell out of me.”

What, men have hit on Tetsuya before? He shudders. “I’m not. I’m just waiting for the right person to come by.”

“That’s okay, I guess. Your life, your choices.” Aomine-kun slumps on his chair and rests his chin on his hand. “Now I’m super curious. You have a type then? How about boobs? Do you have opinions on boobs? You don’t look like it, but apparently I’ve been on the wrong track for years, so tell me everything: tall or short? Fit, slim? Tanned or fair skin?”

Really? “Not everyone objectifies women like you do.”

“Come on! Just give me a hint! I might be able to introduce you to someone!”

Tetsuya isn’t sure he wants to meet Aomine-kun’s acquaintances. “I’m fine, thank you.”

“No you’re not. If you were, you’d have been with someone by now. You need my help.”

“I really doubt you could help.”

“I can’t if you won’t let me! I know plenty of nice ladies that who give you a chance! I just have to know where I’m going, because if Satsuki isn’t good enough for you, that tells me you’re either very demanding or very specific about what you want.”

Tetsuya is so tired of this conversation. Maybe he’ll tell Momoi-san about it. She’ll be pleased to hear Aomine-kun thinks so highly of her.

On second thought, maybe not. He’d have to explain how the subject came about.

“I don’t care what she looks like.”

“Bullshit.”

Aomine-kun isn’t the right person for this. Of course he can’t believe him. “I’m looking for someone serious. I want her to be kind. I want her to be intelligent. I want her to want to raise my children and keep my house in order.”

“Haven’t you been attracted to a woman before? Like, seen one and was into her?”

“What is it to you?”

“So no. And you don’t think that’s… unusual? For someone who’s looking to get married? At eighteen years old, might I add.”

“Your point being?”

“You’re way too young for that kind of talk. You need to have some fun before getting married.”

“Akashi-kun is already engaged.”

Tetsuya is offended that Aomine-kun is getting annoyed. Surely that’s his right. “Akashi is going to marry the girl his father picked for him because she’s the daughter of his business partner. He’s not exactly a good model.”

“Why not?”

“He doesn’t love her and neither does she? I mean, she might, I don’t know, but he doesn’t.”

“Still, they will surely make for a good family.”

“You’re fine with that? With him just marrying someone because it’s convenient, not because he wants her?”

“They’re both fine with it, aren’t they? Then, it’s not our place to oppose.”

“What about you? If that’s what you want, sign up for an omiai and be done with it.” Aomine-kun sounds exasperated now.

“As you just said, I’m only eighteen. I might, if things don’t work out.”

Aomine-kun’s hands fly up. “I can’t. This is creepy. You’re creeping me out. I don’t know if you need to get laid or accept that you might not be into women at all.”

“Not everyone thinks with their libido like you. That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me.”

“Yeah, sure, but that doesn’t mean you’re fine either. If you ask me, you should really rethink this whole life plan thing of yours.”

“I haven’t asked.”

“I’m telling anyway.”

Tetsuya sighs. “I supposed I should be used to it.”

That wasn’t a call for Aomine-kun to mess up his hair like he’s a child. Surely that’s not the kind of conversation children have. “Look, I’m not trying to judge you. I’m just worried, okay? That thing of yours doesn’t seem healthy to me. If you can’t give me a better reason for getting a girlfriend than because you should, it’s not good enough. Think about it. For me.”

Oh well. If it makes Aomine-kun happy. “I will. I don’t believe it will change a thing, but I will.”

“Good enough.”

_____________

Tetsuya didn’t lie to Aomine-kun. He really did think about it. It’s just that he can’t find a fault in his own logic. Wanting to have a family is a normal, healthy desire. Wanting to get married to attain that objective is also perfectly normal. So what if he isn’t led around by his impulses like Aomine-kun? That doesn’t mean relationships aren’t for him.

Aomine-kun doesn’t seem satisfied when he tells him so, but he accepts it.

Or at least Tetsuya thinks he did. That sigh could mean something else.

“Fine. I’m not gonna tell you how to live your life. If you want a girl, I’ll help you out. I know plenty.”

Tetsuya frowns before he can help it. “I don’t really think…”

“Shut up. You need to get out more. You’re looking for your one true love. Okay. You’re not gonna meet her by lying around doing nothing.” Aomine-kun thrusts his phone in Tetsuya’s face. “How about her? Her name’s Hisae. Hot, right? I think she liked books. You like books. It’s perfect!”

What. “I’m sure she’s a fine lady, (There’s nothing he’s less sure of. She’s Aomine-kun’s… friend, after all.) but I don’t think this is-“

“C’mon, give her a try! You won’t know until you meet her. Let me call her. I’m sure she’d be willing.”

…Well. It’s not like his own efforts have been working out. “If you think it best.”

Aomine-kun grins at him. Tetsuya hates the part of himself that still can’t say no to that smile. “Trust me. You two will get along fine.”

_____________

They do not. Well, they do, but not romantically. She is indeed an amateur of books. Tetsuya could have explained to Aomine-kun that there are such things as book genres, and that not everyone that reads reads the same thing, but it seemed like a waste of time. Luckily, they happened to enjoy the same author.

That, however, did not translate to romantic attraction. They both knew by the end of their first date that nothing more would come out of this. They parted in good terms.

Tetsuya has hoped this would be the end of it. He has not counted on Aomine-kun being stubborn about this. After Hisae-san, he sent Keiko-san, Ayane-san and Ayumi-san. All those women were charming in their own way, but they were Aomine-kun’s type, not his.

After Tetsuya explained this to Aomine-kun, he once again thought it would mark the end of his strange campaign. He got a few weeks of relative peace.

Then came Shimada Sayuri-san. Tetsuya knew from the moment he saw her she was different. She wasn’t built on the same frame as Aomine-kun’s previous… picks. (He keeps calling them conquests. He’s almost sure they’re all women Aomine-kun bedded and discarded.) She was an art student at a nearby college. She was small and pale, with a shy, gentle smile. She looked like the kind of woman a lost child would go to for help.

Tetsuya thought that maybe, maybe Aomine-kun finally got it right.

He thinks so until their fourth date. She dumps him kindly, but irrevocably. He asks her what he did wrong. She says he did everything right, so right, just like he’d calculated his every move.  She says she feels like a pawn. She says he doesn’t like her.

That’s a lie. He enjoyed her company just fine.

She just laughs.

Tetsuya does not get women. He feels like he’s playing a game he doesn’t understand the rules of and no one wants to explain them to him.

_____________

“That’s what she said? Yeah, I’m not surprised.”

What. “That makes sense to you? _How?_ ”

“You don’t feel them.”

“…What?”

“Your relationships. You don’t feel them. You think them through. You think about how things should go and plan it all instead of living them. Of course she felt like an object. You don’t see her.”

“…I don’t understand.”

Aomine-kun really needs to stop sighing. He makes Tetsuya feels like a slow child. “Think about basketball.”

Finally, something easy. “Okay.”

“Do you remember how you felt about your teammates? That senpai from Seirin who hurt himself and couldn’t play? You basically threw your future chances at winning for that guy.”

Tetsuya has no idea where this is going. “I didn’t have a choice. It was his last chance.”

“Exactly. You did it because you felt like it, not because it was the best, most rational chance at the time. You could have won more in the later years if you hadn’t.”

“So?”

“You need to feel the same way about the person you wanna spend the rest of your life with, or there’s no point. That girl, she could tell you didn’t care. You’re not sad about her leaving, right? You’re more confused than anything.”

How can Aomine-kun of all people understand him so well? “You’re right.”

“Then you weren’t into her. That’s why she left.”

Tetsuya is a bit perplexed. “It was only our fourth date.”

“Did you make a move on her?”

“A move?”

“Did you try to kiss her? Hold her hand? Hug her? Something, anything to make her feel wanted?”

“That wouldn’t have been proper.”

“Oh god, why are you so pure. Did she give you a sight that she wouldn’t have been into it? Cause if that’s the case, that’s another story.”

“Not especially.”

“Then she just thought you weren’t attracted to her. That doesn’t help.”

Tetsuya is so lost. He has no idea where Aomine-kun is going. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Are you serious right now? Because if you don’t especially like her as a person and you’re not attracted to her, then you have no business being with her. You have to find someone that fits at least one of those criteria, or else why would you want to spend the rest of your life with her? I’m saying this for you, by the way. I don’t deal with people I don’t find hot, but to each their own.”

“You can have a perfectly functional relationship without... passion, you mean?”

“But why you of all people would want to! You’re all about passion. I remember how much your Seirin buddies meant to you. I remember how much you cared about that dude you were friends with in elementary school that we completely trashed. Hell, I remember how serious you were about… us, the Generation of Miracles. Why would you feel anything less for your wife, who’s supposed to be your most important person?”

That does throw Tetsuya, because Aomine-kun is right. When explained like that, it doesn’t make much sense. He felt more for his old teammates, any of them really, than he ever did for any of the women he frequented. That’s not normal, is it?

Then again, his own parents are happy together. Tetsuya knows their marriage wasn’t the stuff of fairy tales, but they’re both content. Why demand more than that kind of simple happiness?

“Please, you haven’t settled for anything in your life, ever. The rest of it really shouldn’t be your first time… I was gonna say not in that way, but that way too, if you ask me.”

Settling… Is that what he’d be doing? Choosing something simply because it’s easier than what he really should want?

Tetsuya never asked himself what he really wanted. He knew what he should want. That was enough.

His future, seemingly so clear, suddenly seems like an ocean of darkness; inscrutable.  

“Aomine-kun…”

“So now you get it. Good.”

“Why do you care?”

“Because I’m not an asshole?”

Liar. He so is.

Maybe that showed on Tetsuya’s face. “I’m not! You’re my friend. I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life being miserable. That’s not weird.”

“But why are you so convinced I’d be miserable?”

“Because you’re not into women.”

Tetsuya chokes. “What do you even know about me?”

“Hello, I’m not blind. Do you have any idea how many people hit on you? No you don’t, because you’re oblivious. From the way you react to romantic overtures you didn’t initiate, I was pretty sure relationships just weren’t your thing. But you said they were. You then admitted you never found even a single woman you liked and rejected all those I threw your way. Yeah, you might just not have found the one, but your track record sucks.”

It’s like the air escaped from the room. “What are you implying?”

“I’m not implying anything. I just want you to make choices because they make you happy, not because you think you should be making them.”

“I’m not… like you.” What he means by that, he doesn’t even know.

Aomine-kun understood him anyway. “Never said that, didn't I? You just have to be like you and no one else.”

Like it’s that easy. “I don’t know how to.”

“No one does. We just have to try anyway.”

He… He’s just… He has to defuse this. “You’re being very philosophical today.”

Aomine-kun snorts. “Enjoy it while it last. It won’t happen often.”

“I will. I am. You’ve given me a lot to think about. Just… give me some time.”

Aomine-kun messes up his hair like he usually does. This gesture, so normal for Aomine-kun, feels strange, charged tonight. “Sure. Call me if you have to, okay? I’ll come over.”

“Okay. See you later.”

“Bye.” The door closes behind him; the only noise breaking the silence.

Tetsuya never felt as lonely as he does now, alone and wondering how to cope with the world turning on you so abruptly.

_____________

Tetsuya tries not to spend the rest of his week reconsidering his life. He’s still a college student. Even if he decides not to… Even if his plans change, he’ll still need to get a job. A decent degree helps with that. To get that, he needs to go to class.

Even that seems a bit different. He knows a few of his classmates quite well by now. He knows which are together, which are dating, which aren’t serious about relationships. That’s all information he couldn’t have cared less about when he was in high school, but when he graduated he told himself he had to know or he couldn’t further his own search.

It wasn’t wasted time. The interest had made him seem approachable. He’s made friends easily.

It had also, indeed, been a calculated effort, but the friends he’d gotten aren’t any less real because of it. He had had no intention of tricking them or anything of the sort. Who doesn’t try to make new friends when they change school? He had been the same person he had always been. He’d hoped that would have been enough for a woman. The woman. The one he’d wanted all his life in the vague way you want to have money and a nice house when you think about your future. He couldn’t have described her if you asked him. He’d thought it was because he was open to anything, but to listen to Aomine-kun, maybe it was because he would accept nothing.

Some people find their true love late in life, don’t they? Just because he hasn’t felt desire for someone yet doesn’t mean he’s not… normal. Maybe he’s just a late bloomer.

Or maybe he hasn’t tried hard enough. There has to be a woman that would seduce him at first glance. Someone that would create that spark of attraction he can see between well-matched couples. He’s been envious of that. Some people had chemistry so obviously tying them that anyone with eyes could see it. The closest he’d ever come to it had been on the court, when he’d found it so easy to predict his partners’ movements.

In a way, he’d been looking for someone like himself. Someone that would seamlessly insert themselves into his life, unnoticeable until you needed them, at which point they would always be there for you, supporting you in the shadows. Maybe he’d wanted to be someone’s light, for once. 

But that’s not really his nature, is it? He’s never chosen that kind of person for himself. All his friends, all the people he surrounded himself with, are the center of attention anywhere they go.  Not that attracting more attention than Tetsuya is hard, but he remembers how crowds part and people turn to stare when he’s out with Kagami-kun or Aomine-kun. There’s Kise-kun, who prefers to create crowds around himself, or Akashi-kun, who could beckon one in a matter of seconds if he felt like it. Even his teammates from Seirin had presence when the situation demanded it.

In conclusion, maybe he needs to be more honest about what he enjoys.

_____________

He knows that’s not what Aomine-kun meant, but he still goes through a phase of reevaluating all his acquaintances with a more open heart. He’s trying to see if he could have ignored the woman of his dreams because of his stupid preconceived ideas.

Alas, the miraculous answer he’d been desperately hoping for doesn’t present itself. He still can’t find a woman that would make his heart beat faster. He remembered what Aomine-kun said. He would pick none of them before his old friends. He can’t see himself ever doing so.

 It isn’t a fair comparison. He spent months, years in some cases, with those he would sacrifice himself for.

It still doesn’t make it any less true. No woman he’s ever met has lit any kind of fire in him.

It’s with slightly trembling hands that he calls Aomine-kun. Aomine-kun had said to call him if he needed help. Tetsuya could do with some stability at the moment.

_____________

Aomine-kun comes over with groceries. He sits Tetsuya down at his tiny table and monopolises his kitchen, but not before coming back with a cup of green tea.

Honestly, Tetsuya feels a bit out of his depth. Aomine-kun can be overprotective if provoked, but it’s not usually this obvious. Tetsuya cannot remember a time when Aomine-kun rushed over like this, not even for Momoi-san.

He must have been worried.

“Here. Food.”

Tetsuya throws him a slightly bewildered look. “Don’t you think you overdid it a little?”

Aomine-kun blushes a bit. Good. He won’t be the only one fumbling. “Shut up.”

His nikujaga looks good. Probably his mother’s recipe.

Tetsuya’s mother also made quite good nikujaga. He’d expected his wife would, too.

Aomine-kun answers to his sigh. “So. Not liking the conclusion you arrived at?”

Tetsuya wishes Aomine-kun would just let him eat the (frankly better than he expected) food he prepared for him. “Not really, no.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“After dinner, maybe.”

“Sure.”

So they sit in silence at his little table. Tetsuya wonders how he can make friends this attentive (when they feel like it) without that ability somehow translating to romance. Wouldn’t that be nice.

They wash the dishes together. Tetsuya tries to pay him for the cost of the ingredients, but Aomine-kun declines.

Once everything is where it’s supposed to be, Aomine-kun once more sits him down with tea. Strange. As far as he knows, Aomine-kun isn’t particularly fond of the drink. Tetsuya is, though.

“Now’s the time, Tetsu. Talk.”

Tetsuya sets his cup down. “There’s not much to say, really. You were right. I’ve never really felt any attraction for womankind in general. I didn’t… I never realised. I kept thinking it would happen when it would happen. Maybe there’s something wrong with me.”

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with you. Even if you never find that girl you want, you’ll be fine. You’ll still have all of us. Better than nothing, right?”

Tetsuya wipes the self-deprecating smile off Aomine-kun’s face with a light slap on the back of his head. He’s disturbed. There really is something wrong with Aomine-kun today. Tetsuya was so focused on his own issues he missed it completely. “Aomine-kun, is something the matter? You’re acting strange today.”

Aomine-kun’s hand flies up in a dismissive gesture. “Nah. Don’t mind me. Tonight’s all about you.”

This is not helping. “I’m going to have to insist.”

“You probably won’t like it.”

Tetsuya frowns. Whatever is troubling Aomine-kun needs to be dealt with. How he’ll feel about it doesn’t matter. “Please let me help. You came all the way here for me. It’s the least I can do.”

Aomine-kun sighs. It’s a deep sign. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Look, I really thought you were just not into relationships, and well, sex, at all, but you’re obviously for the first one, and now I’m wondering if you might just have been… barking up the wrong tree.”

“I’m not following.”

“I didn’t think you would. Look, have you ever thought… Maybe you’re not the problem. Maybe women are. Maybe they’re just not your thing.”

The tightening of his throat surely has nothing to do with what Aomine-kun is implying. Nothing at all. “I’m still not sure I get what you mean.”

“You’ve obviously spent your whole life dreaming up this perfect scenario of how you want your future to end up, and I’m thinking maybe you’ve blocked everything that would have not fit within that narrative. You get where I’m going now, right?”

… “No I don’t. Please make yourself clearer or stop talking.”

“Look, don’t punch me, but this is going to be the most effective way of getting my point across.”

This, apparently, means sliding over to where Tetsuya is, raising a hand to his face gently, and, while Tetsuya is still disoriented by this unfamiliar gesture of affection, kiss him right on the mouth.

Tetsuya just… blanks for a few seconds. He has no idea what is happening, or how he should respond, or if the warmth he’s feeling is normal.

The moment passes, and Tetsuya pushes Aomine-kun off with more strength than necessary. “Aomine-kun! What were you thinking!” How could he possibly think… This cannot…

Aomine-kun jumps on his feet. “Sorry, sorry, my bad, I know I shouldn’t have. I’m gonna go now, have other things to do, see you later. Bye.” And before he knows it, Tetsuya is once again left alone in his apartment, wondering how things went so wrong.

_____________

His sleep, if you can call it that, is troubled to say the least. There’s a part of him that’s… distressed at the recent developments. He’s very fond of Aomine-kun, but he’s never thought of him, of any of his friends, like that. He wouldn’t. He shouldn’t. He can’t.

He thinks about his mother and can feel both their hearts breaking. He can’t.

There’s another part that doesn’t understand why Aomine-kun dared. Why would he… Aomine-kun has everything. He could have that perfect life in a heartbeat if he wanted. Why Tetsuya? Why a man at all, when he can have any woman he wants? That’s just… He said it himself. He doesn’t have to be abnormal. Why choose to?

Finally, there’s a part of him that is sick of all of this and just wants to ignore it all until it goes away. Tetsuya doesn’t have to listen to Aomine-kun at all. He can just go on. He’ll find someone willing to marry him somehow. Tetsuya will make it work. It doesn’t have to be a love story for the ages. Most marriages aren’t.

Morning comes. Tetsuya doesn’t care. He’s tired, both in body and soul. He’s not going to school today. Classes can wait. He’ll just have someone share their note with him. Let’s just go back to bed and try to sleep a bit better.

It’ll be hard, but he can try.

_____________

It’s five in the afternoon and Tetsuya is trying to focus on his stupid book. For some reason, it can’t keep his attention. Maybe he should go to library to pick something better. It’s strange though. He loves this book.

Someone is trying to tear his door down.

Tetsuya isn’t in the mood.

Whoever it is isn’t in the mood to stop knocking either, apparently.

Tetsuya resolves to make the intruder leave as soon as possible. “What.”

Kagami-kun’s large frame blocks all the sun from entering his apartment. “Open when someone knocks, stupid.”

He so isn’t in the mood. “What is it you wanted, Kagami-kun? You’re disturbing me.”

“From what? You’re still in pajamas. Are you sick on top of whatever’s wrong between you and Aomine?”

Tetsuya freezes. “What? What about Aomine?”

“You tell me. He called me and asked me to come check on you, and since he was worried enough to think you needed checking over but wouldn’t do it himself, I figured he was the problem. Do I need to punch someone? If yes, which of you?”

“Him. Definitely him.”

Kagami-kun stares. “Huh. So something did happen. What was it?”

Tetsuya can’t help it. He blushes bright red.

“Okay, never mind, I don’t wanna know. Look, I don’t know what he did, but I’m gonna say something nice about him for once in my life, so listen. Aomine might be an overconfident asshole that I can’t stand ninety percent of the time, but for some reason you can, so. He really cares about you, okay? He went ahead and called me of all people to come over. He asked me for a favor. Me! For you. So whatever he did, he probably knows he’s in the wrong. Just call him and put him out of his misery. Get him to treat you to Maji Burger, he’ll go for that.”

“Kagami-kun, it’s not the kind of problem you solve with food!”

Kagami-kun looks flabbergasted. “Are you serious! It’s that bad!?”

Kagami-kun is mocking him. Probably. “Some problems aren’t easily solved.”

“They’re not solved at all if you don’t do a thing about it.”

…He’s not wrong. “Fine. I’ll call him.”

“Good kid.”

“I’m going to hit you.”

“I’m going to laugh it off. You’re too weak to hurt me.”

…What a jerk. “Go already.”

“Fine, fine, I’m leaving. Tell Aomine I did my job. If he’s not gonna treat you, he better take me.”

Tetsuya just slams the door behind him.

And stares at his phone.

And stares at it longer.

More staring won’t hurt. Staring has never hurt anybody.

…That’s really enough stalling. He has to end this.

Ring. Ring. Ring. “Tetsu?”

“Hello, Aomine-kun.”

“Are you okay? Please don’t kill me.”

How can someone, anyone, resist this order of priority? “I’m… not okay. I’m not going to kill you.”

“…That’s not what I’d call a good start, but at least I’m still alive in that scenario. Good enough, I suppose.”

“…Why did you do it?” He knows he doesn’t have to say more.

“It seemed like the most efficient way of making my point?”

And Tetsuya is completely dumb. “It also seemed like a good way of getting punched.”

“I can take you. You have no muscle.”

What’s with people calling him weak today? “Not the point, Aomine-kun.”

“…The fact that you didn’t argue scares me more than the rest of the conversation up to this point. Who are you and what have you done to Tetsu?”

“I have no idea who I am, and I also would like to know what happened to Kuroko Tetsuya.”

Silence on the line. “You’ll find out. Everyone does. Life happened to Kuroko Tetsuya. It has a tendency to change people. It’s a thing.”

“I would prefer it didn’t.”

Snort. “Not your choice to make.”

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

“So, on a scale of one to ten, how honest do you want me to be?”

That doesn’t augur well. There’s been too much honesty lately.

Nevertheless, he’s never asked for anything less than the truth. “Ten.”

“I’m going to have to say you won’t like it again.”

“Ten, Aomine-kun.”

“I figured I could kill two birds with one stone. You’re not straight, that part’s been obvious for a while, but you might be in denial, so if you’re not disgusted by the kiss, you know you might be gay. And hey, if you are, maybe I would do. I mean, I would never be your ideal woman. Since you asked for honesty, I don’t think anyone could.  But sometimes, it’s not what you want that you need. If you don’t try it, how would you know?”

Maybe he should be more surprised than he is at the declaration that Aomine-kun is at least a little attracted to him. He isn’t. He had to be. Otherwise, it made no sense.

It still doesn’t. “Why don’t you pick a serious girlfriend? You could. You told me you could. You could have a nice, normal life.”

He knows just the face Aomine-kun is making over the phone. Exasperated, but in a quiet way. “I don’t know if you could get it. It’s not something I’ve longed for like you. I give no fuck what other people think of my relationships. If they approve, great. If they don’t, fuck them. Not literally. I want something, I go for it. I didn’t make a move on you because I thought you weren’t interested and I wasn’t gonna make things awkward, but if there’s a chance, I wanna take it. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry if it did fuck things up.”

It did. It didn’t. Maybe Tetsuya has much to learn from Aomine-kun. “I… don’t know where I stand.” This isn’t, nothing about this is what Tetsuya has planned for himself. The job, the house, the children, the wife. His mother, happy. Nothing about this long-cherished dream will come true if he lets himself listen to the siren song of Aomine-kun’s philosophy. Taking what you want without care for the consequences. Following your impulses, never minding where they will take you. Forgetting the rest of the world and just living for yourself.

He doesn’t think he can.

He believes he should.

He’s not sure he wants to.

“I’ve never… You know this is nothing I wanted. I don’t… I’m not sure I can handle it.”

“That’s fine. If you can’t, you can’t. Take it easy.”

In a way, he’s been taking it easy his whole life. “I’ll try. You’re going to have to be patient, but I’ll try.” It’s not for Aomine-kun. Not really. Maybe nothing will come out of it.

It’s for himself. He needs to know himself better before he can pick a direction.

“Tetsu, I’ve been patient for years. I can take it. I’ll be there if you need me, always, okay?”

This, he can handle. No matter what else happens, this, he believes. “Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is far from perfect. This is me rushing to post this before the end of AoKuro Week. Sorry.


End file.
